Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Mild "Meh" for Lyndale Taphouse

I can best describe the Lyndale Taphouse with a slight shoulder shrug and an unenthusiastic "meh." There are some things that seem great about it, but other things were a huge disappointment.  Maybe we've just interested in ordering the wrong things, but if it's not awesome, take it off the menu! Nothing's wrong with a small menu as long as you make all those items incredible.

Consider the onion rings. Any bar should make great onion rings. After all, how hard can it be if you have a deep fryer? Not hard at all. So what went wrong? The onion rings were super heavy. I felt like I was eating pounds and pounds of dough with a little bit of onion in the middle.  Yes, the onion was flavorful, but jeebus! Onion rings should not be filling! They are an appetizer!  Either their breading was just way too ridiculously thick and heavy or the oil in the deep fryer was not heated up all the way (so that the breading absorbed disgusting amounts of oil).  While the onion rings received a resounding thumbs down, Steve and I both agreed that the presentation was quite nice. They arrived on this wire tree thing, so it was kind of like fatty Christmas. All in all, the onion rings were a look-but-do-not-touch item.  This makes me wonder, "What other staple bar food is this place messing up?"

Despite the fact that they messed up the onion rings pretty horrifically, the fries were pretty good. They weren't amazing, but they didn't offend me. I feel like that's the minimum standard I'd expect from a restaurant/bar like that. Also, they earn points for coming in such heaping portions. (The onion rings did too, but what is the point of serving a lot of crap? That just seems wasteful!)

Their website boasts that the restaurant specializes in Baltimore style pit meat.  I ordered the Latin Pig sandwich ("pit pork drenched in Mandarin habinero sauce, avocado, fresh cilantro, and mayo").  I thought my sandwich was delicious! The meat itself was perfectly done, I loved the sauce, I thought the avocado was a great touch, and cilantro is always yummy. It came with a silly-large pile of fries on the side and an oversized knife. Stamp of approval. Ate that up in no time.

But wait. Last time, Steve ordered one of the pit sandwiches and it was less gobble-worthy.  Shouldn't every single one of their pit sandwiches be mind-blowing since they brag about their specialty? Am I just expecting too much?

Also, last time we ordered a maple glazed pork belly appetizer. (In case you are weirded out by the name "pork belly," you should realize that this is the cut of meat that turns into bacon.)  We ate it up, but it wasn't impressive. If you want incredible pork belly, leave it to United Noodle's deli or Pagoda. I'm kind of willing to forgive the Lyndale Taphouse for the pork belly since it's less mainstream, but really they should either chop the bad stuff off the menu or improve it so that it deserves to be there.

Bottom line: Lyndale Taphouse is a bit hit-or-miss.

Other bottom line: I am really picky, but I feel like if I'm going to a restaurant and giving them money, they better give me something delicious in return.  Just put the time and effort into making it right. And if you aren't willing to do that, then take the unsavory dishes off the menu so you don't waste my time and money.

...

Oh! Other funny thing! Last time, we wanted to order a dessert. Well, really I wanted the dessert and Steve said he'd help me eat some of it. Anyway, I asked the waitress to describe the "cookies and ice cream" option, and she said, "It comes with ice cream and there are a lot of little cookies." What kind of cookies? Are they soft or chocolatey or any good or ... ? Thank you for reading the menu to me.  Give your waitresses a taste of your dishes so they don't sound so ignorant! Your menu might have some amazing items, but what good are those items if they stay in the kitchen because your waitress doesn't have any knowledge about the quality?